I am not a “fashionista”

I am not a fashionista.  I don’t care about the current trend in clothes since they usually don’t work for me, nine times out of ten.

It is well known that I hate to clothes shop. Hate.it.with.a.passion.  However, it’s a necessary evil and I do end up biting the bullet and head out to various stores. I don’t have a specific style per se (frankly I don’t have style at all, I just know what I don’t like), but if I had to “label” a style, I lean towards classic things, with funky pieces thrown in to reflect my personality. I’m horrible at this stuff — my color palette reflects a bruise (black and blue, with a few colors and white thrown in). It’s true, you can ask my friends.

I have a closet full of clothes that due to a wonky thyroid & Vitamin D deficiency (both are now being treated) are a bit uncomfortable to wear.  I work in a very casual office – jeans and such, but I do clean up quite nicely and wear other things than jeans.

With that in mind, I headed out to our mall yesterday.  I went to one department store, which usually serves me well.  Not yesterday. I literally stood in the clothes department utterly paralyzed with anxiety and seriously overwhelmed.

What genius decided that ruffles were the “thing” for this season? Seriously, there were ruffles on blouses, sweaters, and skirts (skirts!).  I heard there are even ruffles on bathing suits and on purses.  Ruffles? Really? OMG. Everywhere, in every section (designer and store brand alike) ruffles.

borrowed from The Fashion Police

I’m vertically challenged at 5′ 4″.  Put ruffles on me in any form and I look like a duster for cleaning house. I could clean my house just swirling around.

Moving on from the ruffles, we now have tops/sweaters adorned with huge flower looking things and tees with wild prints. Come on people, I am not 18, 5′ 9″ and 100 pounds. There are only so many trends I can get away with – these are not it.

I was amazed at the absolute waste in trendy things that I saw, not only at the department store, but in practically every store I walked in or by. All I wanted were some cropped pants that didn’t reach my ankles, a few tops and some summer shoes/sandals (don’t get me started on the shoes either). Nothing spectacular – just enough to hold me over while my body goes back to normal.

Seriously, I know I’m not a fashionista, putting outfits together is stressful enough for me (that’s how much I hate to deal with clothes), I just didn’t need my face rubbed in all this foofoo stuff.  What happened to the basics? Where did they go? Yesterday, I couldn’t find a thing to wear because it was hidden behind all the ruffles and flowers.

If it’s not ruffles or flowers, it’s some other trendy thing of the moment – low and very low-rise jeans come to mind and is an entirely different conversation.

Yes, I need help when it comes to fashion, I admit it.  I also think they should have a corner of the store with a sign that says “trend free” zone.

Oh and don’t get me started on this “vanity sizing” shit.

  1 comment for “I am not a “fashionista”

  1. June 21, 2010 at 10:19 am

    what is vanity sizing? see this is how little i know!

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